How to find and OB-GYN & form a therapeutic relationship

I get so many questions about finding or changing OB-GYN providers. Every woman deserves a doctor/patient relationship that is fulfilling. I’m sorry I can’t be in all 50 states (and Canada!) to be your provider, but here are some of my tips.

Ask friends who approach their health in a similar way to you about their OB-GYN.

If planning to be pregnant, ask other women who have had babies recently about their experience. Go to a preconception visit, this is a great time to ask how the OB practice operates.

Be wary of online reviews, especially related to:

  • Long wait times could mean that the provider is actually taking time with patients in the room. Many providers do not get to dictate their own schedule and how many patients they see per day. Budget extra time, you might be waiting to see someone who runs late but doesn’t make you feel rushed. An OB-GYN provider may need to run to deliveries too, those babies don’t wait until lunch or evenings!
  • Billing and costs depend on your insurance company and coverage, not the provider themselves.

Make the right appointment.

If you’re interested in only having a well check, schedule a well check. If you’re hoping to discuss your irregular periods, pain with sex, itching down there, or any other problem, make a consultation visit for the problem. Appointment times and set up are different for these issues. This will make your whole visit run more smoothly and make sure we can cover your concern.


If you have a particular issue or history, start the conversation leading with it. Here are some examples:
“Pelvic exams are very stressful for me, do I need one this visit and if so, how can you make them more comfortable?”
“I’ve a negative experience in healthcare with weight stigma. I don’t want to talk about my weight in this visit, but I would like to discuss X”
“My primary goal for this visit is X”

How have you found a good provider/patient relationship? Please share below so other women can read.

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marta perez

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St. Louis, Missouri

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your best friend OB-GYN

dr. marta perez

your best friend OB-GYN