I’m pregnant!

Welcome to my first blog post, I saved it to introduce someone very special… Bubs! We have named our fetus Bubs and as I write this at 25 weeks, Bubs is kicking around, so I think that means she or he is just as excited as I am to share this news.

I waited a long time to share online, so we have a lot to catch up on. Since it seemed like too much to share in captions and blog posts, I made a vlog on YouTube. In that video, I start at the beginning and discuss how we decided to conceive and how the COVID pandemic impacted that, how I found out I was pregnant, my thoughts on when to share your pregnancy with loved ones and on social media and why we waited so long to announce.

https://youtu.be/72dfq44dfI8

Although it may be surprising I didn’t share on my public platform until 25 weeks, aren’t you also kind of glad you didn’t have to endure my very tiny bump pictures in the first trimester when I didn’t even look pregnant? Like this one at 17 weeks… I thought I had a bump but it looks like a normal day to most people, and even to me in hindsight.

I’m going to have a full post dedicated to the first trimester, both sharing my experiences and giving some advice on managing common symptoms. I talked about this more extensively on YouTube, but I found it very hard to bond with the pregnancy early on, since as an OB-GYN, I am constantly caring for women with pregnancy loss, lethal fetal anomalies, and delivering some of the worst news families can receive. I was pretty much convinced that I would have a first trimester miscarriage. Instead of increasing anxiety, this actually gave me a sense of peace, because I felt that I had already accepted that if it happened, I would handle it. But of course I wanted to be and stay pregnant, and having very easy access to an ultrasound every day at work made it tempting to take a quick check for a heartbeat. I did do that, but I limited myself to once a week or less. I think that if I had checked more, I would rely on outside reassurance to manage anxiety instead of using my own coping mechanisms. This is the caution I give to patients when they ask about purchasing dopplers to have at home – they’re not entirely good or bad but they may be a less-than-ideal way to start managing the worries that will flourish in pregnancy and parenthood.

I’ve been pretty creative keeping it a secret on social media. I’ve used some old posts but also taken advantage of angles and looser clothing (thanks, poor fitting hospital scrubs!). Here are some stories or posts you may remember and their associated “bump” I was hiding.

We’re not going to find out fetal sex until birth! I’ll go more into why we made that choice in the future.

Finally, I would love to hear your experiences or questions in the comments both here on the blog, or any of the other platforms.

Be sure to go to the homepage and subscribe to my email list. I won’t send emails out very often, but now that there are a few different platforms, I want to make sure you can stay up to date with educational content.

  1. Tessa says:

    Congrats! So excited for you both. We didn’t find out the gender until delivery and it was so much fun!! Can’t wait to hear more about your pregnancy journey!

    • Marta Perez says:

      Thank you!! I LOVE everything about being a part of new families at the moment of deliveries, and I do get wrapped up in the extra surprise that brings too!

  2. Claire says:

    Well this is just so exciting! Happy for you and your husband on this Journey! I’m 15 weeks with #2 and it will be a joy to follow along. We also are keeping our baby’s sex a surprise until his or her birthday. We waited to find out with our daughter as well and it was amazing!

  3. Melissa says:

    Congratulations! I’m almost 11 weeks along with #2 and I’m so glad you talked about struggling to bond and having anxiety as well. My anxiety has been out of control this time so it’s nice to see that even the experts can feel the same!

    • Marta Perez says:

      Absolutely, I see things that most people don’t even know could go wrong. I think I’ll talk about this more later but in a way, most women for most of history approached pregnancy with a level of trepidation about their own health and survival of their offspring, it’s more recent history that we’ve had a lot more relative comfort with all the advances we’ve made, so I think a guarded outlook is completely normal.

  4. Emily Jones says:

    Congrats! I am due in February and 21 weeks. I started following you when I got pregnant so now I feel like we are in sync and you are going along the journey with me! I am in Australia. I didn’t share on social media until 20 weeks.

    All the best to you and your family.

    Emily x

  5. Courtney says:

    25 weeks pregnant here too! And healthcare worker. Welcome to the club! I totally get the anxiety of all that could happen. It’s the curse of knowing too much. You got this girl! I barely showed at all with my first and I sorta accidentally hid it. One nurse I worked with didn’t know I was pregnant until 32 weeks because I told her. So fun. Enjoy it!!! I honestly feel like this pregnancy is flying by.

  6. Ashley says:

    Congrats! We waited to find out the sex for our second baby and it was the best! Not like some magical moment or anything but it just really gave some mystery and excitement to what was otherwise an incredible but run-of-the-mill delivery.

  7. Ashton says:

    Congratulations! I am so happy for you both. I really appreciate the content you put out on IG and look forward to following your website as well. My partner and I are starting the 5th month of trying to conceive. Hoping it happens soon because “trying” to get pregnant is stressful lol.

    • Marta Perez says:

      It really can be, we modern women plan our lives out so closely, even waiting between periods can be torture! Wishing you luck!

  8. April says:

    Congrats!! You’re one of my fave insta follows and I love your educational and personal posts equally 🙂 we didn’t find out the sex with our first and it was so fun at delivery! Though, I am an L&d nurse and took care of a 35 wk demise during that pregnancy. I had convinced myself that would happen to me and mentally prepared for it. When we actually delivered at 40 weeks I was not prepared mentally to actually have a newborn 🙃 and maybe I was in denial that I wouldn’t stay pregnant forever?? But he was here and healthy and a BOY. Now three and proud big brother of a 1 year old baby sister.

    You are looking beautiful and I hope the rest of the pregnancy is a breeze! Mazel 💗

    • Marta Perez says:

      I relate to this SO MUCH. Though I always felt incredible sadness seeing an IUFD, and especially a term IUFD, it’s gotten EVEN sadder now that I’m pregnant too, which I didn’t think was possible. L&D nurses are THE BEST! Thanks for sharing!!

  9. Katie says:

    Congrats!! On the pregnancy and also on launching the website! What your write is so relatable – I too was super convinced I would miscarry, didn’t share on social media, etc. I felt like an anxious crazy lady at the time, so it is good to know professionals sometimes have the same thoughts. And plus our society is good at digesting your happy news but not always sad news, so I don’t blame anyone who wants to protect themselves from that cycle. Excited for you and to see the rest of your journey!

    • Marta Perez says:

      That is an excellent point. While I think it’s so helpful when people do share bad news online because it makes others feel so much less alone, no one is required to and keeping good news to yourself to prevent having to share bad news definitely played iinto a reason I waited to share.

  10. Rachel says:

    Congratulations!! So exciting! I’m currently 31 weeks and oof this pregnancy has been tough but also a blessing. Thank you for sharing your experience. I find comfort knowing that anxiety is normal, especially during these uncertain times!

  11. Katherine says:

    Congratulations! Can’t wait to watch the blog and hear more about your experience so far. I am pregnant with my first as well and due about a week after you. And I work in family medicine! Wishing you the best with the rest of your pregnancy 🙂

  12. Lina says:

    Love this! Congrats! We also waited until delivery to find out baby’s sex. People thought we were crazy but it was such a special moment, wouldn’t change it for anything! All the best to you and your growing family!

  13. Kristin says:

    I have so enjoyed and been encouraged (learning so much!) by your content and I am so happy for you! I love the skeleton shirts, so cute! I didn’t find out sex for either of my pregnancies (well, my doctor office accidentally told me on my first, but I didn’t tell anyone else. My husband told me to just forget. Like I could forget something like that?!?) but was convinced they were both boys and they were! I work in a very male environment and while my pregnancy certainly wasn’t a secret, I didn’t talk about it much and had people asking the week I gave birth if I was pregnant! No one in my department had ever been pregnant, and they had to get HR involved to figure out how to handle everything (I work in an industrial environment with heavy machinery and chemicals etc). I hope I can be a friendly resource for others. Best wishes for a healthy and easy rest of your pregnancy!

  14. Audrey says:

    Congratulations! I also kept my pregnancy a secret from most of the internet and extended family and friends until 30 weeks. Then I savored my newborn for 4 days before announcing it. I was miserable, nauseous, and severely depressed for most of my carefully planned pregnancy. Honestly, I felt better 2 weeks postpartum than I did at 22 weeks pregnant. Everyone prepared me for postpartum depression, but nothing in the world prepared me for the hormones during pregnancy that could make me really depressed. There are so many reasons not to share. It felt like our little depressed sick secret for a while. Then I turned the corner and now I have a beautiful baby girl.

    I’m soo excited for you. I love that you’re always providing evidence based content. I hope you continue to provide excellent resources for pregnant people and all stages of gynecological care.

    Here’s to not being limited to characters and not being measured by likes!

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marta perez

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